Healing From A Devastating Loss
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On March 17, 2017, the unthinkable happened. We lost our only son, Justin, to suicide. This after battling a 10-year addiction problem. I can’t even begin to describe the pain, grief, hurt, anger, and depression that followed. I lost my faith in God. Though raised a Christian, I questioned everything I once believed. I’d been praying for God to help Justin, to take away the pain from the addiction, to take away the addiction all together. When we lost Justin, I felt as if my prayers were just ignored. I felt God apparently favored some people over others. I say this because all my life, I had seen prayers answered for us and for many others. So, why not this prayer? Why had God decided to abandon all of us, in Justin’s most dire time of need? A couple of days after losing Justin, I remember standing in our backyard, having a shouting match with God. I yelled repeatedly, “Where were you? How could you let this happen to him?” It was then that I heard a quiet but very strong voice. “I was right there with him. He’s with me and he is well.” At that moment, I felt a calm like never before. I didn’t know at the time what a pivotal moment that would be in regaining my faith in God...
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