My life looked perfect.
I was 19 years old, but deep down, I felt an emptiness. I suffered from depression. I felt I had no future, no meaning in life. There was a voice telling me horrible things about myself. I tried to find happiness in parties and became addicted to sex. But ten minutes of carnal desire did not give me peace. Hours later, the depression would return.
Since I was a little girl, my aunts took me to church, but I never believed in God. I felt I was my own God. I didn’t want to follow rules. I wanted the things of the world. But every day, that world disappointed me more and more. As a teenager, I continued to visit the church, sporadically, and one day I heard a song that touched my heart:
Joy, joy, I wanted it but I was looking for it where there was none, but one day Christ, the giver of life, gave me the joy I wanted; Peace, peace I wanted peace, but I was looking for it where there was none…
In the praises and the preaching, I found everything I needed: peace, comfort and love. I was about to turn 20, and for the first time in my life, I knelt down before God and said, “If you are real, I am going to give you this decision and let you guide me.”
God’s answer was not long in coming. Within a week, I was in the emergency room for appendicitis, had surgery and was hospitalized for 10 days due to complications. Being hospitalized prevented me from moving out of state. I know now that it was not in God’s will for me to move.
I promised God that if I got out of the hospital alive, I would accept that He was real. I felt His presence in that hospital, and knew He had a perfect plan for me.
When I got out of the hospital, I decided to transform my life and follow Christ. I knew I had to make a decision: accept the call of eternal life or get lost in the world.
It has been 12 years now, and every day, I see God’s goodness. Jesus is the only one who has been with me to give me peace, blessings and love.
No Comments