ADOPTION IS NOT PLAN B

Even before we were married, my husband and I knew we wanted to grow our family through adoption first. I initially felt a need to adopt when I was in high school and saw the orphan crisis up close through one of my trips abroad. It wasn’t a magical spiritual moment or a lightbulb that went off or a verse that jumped off the page. I just realized I didn’t have that strong need to carry and birth a child the way my friends did. Instead, I had an overwhelming desire to see orphans grow up in the security of a family. Family is what psychologically grounds us in so many ways. It’s where we develop a sense of belonging. It is the first community a person ever experiences. Our first words are usually mom or dad. When we first started the adoption process, we were looking for a healthy girl under the age of four. But during the first year of paperwork and red tape, we saw so many faces of kids waiting for families who didn’t meet our criteria. They were slightly older; some had Cerebral Palsy, others Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Many had histories of trauma or medical needs that would mean weekly therapies and possible surgeries. Slowly, the Lord began to change our hearts toward these children. It was truly only Him. There was nothing we did. Over time, He softened and molded us until we were ready to say yes to our Ben. Adopting Ben meant learning sign language and figuring out how to parent a child who didn’t start learning any language until he was 6 years old. It meant having to fight insurance companies, often face defeat, and keep fighting anyway because God always makes a way. Now, we are welcoming our daughter who has a brain malformation and a few other medical challenges stacked against her. We really aren’t sure what her life will look like, but at least we now know that she’ll have a forever mom and dad. We trust that God will take care of the details because this has been His work all along. We are simply willing participants.