CARRYING A BROKEN HEART

“I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat.” I remember that fateful moment like it was yesterday, but it was Father’s Day of 2018 when the doctor spoke those words. I was pregnant with our son, and it was his due date. Nothing could’ve prepared me for that life-changing moment. Three months before this event, I visualized Jesus was holding one of my hands, with His other hand over my heart. I had no idea the comfort God was preparing for me, until this moment where pain and supernatural peace would collide. The next day, I gave birth to our stillborn baby, Ethan.

Back in 2016 and 2017, I had also suffered two miscarriages. At three months during my first pregnancy, they found no baby in the sac and I hemorrhaged. Six months later, I became pregnant again but at 10 weeks the doctors heard no heartbeat and I miscarried shortly after. I wasn’t miscarrying just my baby, I was miscarrying a broken heart.

I was searching for support from other women who had gone through the same devastating experiences of baby loss. I heard God calling me to use my gifts, so I founded Spark Joy Ministries, a private, faith-based supportive community for those who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. I wanted to create a safe place for others to discuss their feelings and begin the healing process.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

I held on tightly to this verse and searched to find meaning in my devastation, always loving stories of hope and healing. I received my Masters of Professional Counseling in 2008, and I have been a Crisis Therapist since 2013. My book, How to Survive Baby Loss, walks people through this journey of heartache and hope.

I am now the mother of two beautiful earthside living children, and a living testimony that there is restoration and redemption. My mission is to point people to Jesus, and to let them know that God provides comforting in our trials and that one day soon, we will all be reunited with our little ones in heaven.