Recovery taught me that nights are the hardest. That’s when the noise gets loud and the loneliness creeps in. That’s when people decide whether they’re going to make it through until morning. So, I answer my phone. I tell people they can call me anytime, especially in the middle of the night. I don’t sleep much anyway. And I remember too clearly what it felt like to be alone with cravings that felt bigger than God. There were nights I prayed and still wanted to numb everything. Nights when I didn’t trust myself. Nights when one voice could have changed everything. Now, I try to be that… Read More
Recovery
-
-
For most of my life, I carried invisible wounds. Childhood trauma left deep marks--emotional, physical, and spiritual--that I didn’t know how to face. I learned to survive by pretending everything was fine, but inside, I was unraveling. To dull the pain, I turned to anything that could distract me from it. Food became comfort, alcohol became escape and relationships became my way of feeling seen. I kept searching for something to fill the ache, never realizing what I was truly longing for was peace--the kind only Jesus could bring. Then came the night my soul broke open. It was the darkest night… Read More
-
The week of Thanksgiving is meant to be joyous. It’s a celebratory, anticipatory week that culminates in a big family gathering, filled with gratitude and nostalgia. On November 22, 2022, that’s exactly what I was anticipating. Then, I got a phone call that changed my life forever. It was my parents. They called to tell me that my older brother, Jason, had been in a helicopter crash off I-77 in Charlotte, NC. As a television meteorologist, Jason was in the air that morning learning the station’s new camera system. It was supposed to be a routine trip, but it turned into… Read More
-
“If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness.” Whether or not these words were found carved into the wall of a Nazi death camp, it is certainly how I felt trudging through the jungles of Vietnam in 1966. “Why would God permit such mayhem and horror?” I was told that God was good and loving, but I found no love or goodness in the rot of war. While I remained culturally tied to Christianity after returning to the United States, I was, for all intents and purposes, an atheist. My job as a police officer only reassured me of… Read More
-
My life looked perfect. I was 19 years old, but deep down, I felt an emptiness. I suffered from depression. I felt I had no future, no meaning in life. There was a voice telling me horrible things about myself. I tried to find happiness in parties and became addicted to sex. But ten minutes of carnal desire did not give me peace. Hours later, the depression would return. Since I was a little girl, my aunts took me to church, but I never believed in God. I felt I was my own God. I didn't want to follow rules. I wanted… Read More
-
At the end of a busy day in my 34th week of pregnancy, I realized I hadn’t felt my baby move. A hospital ultrasound confirmed the terrible truth: my baby girl had died. I wasn’t in the habit of praying. I did believe Jesus was my savior and had accepted Christ into my life at the age of 8. But by the time I left for college, and even after I got married and had my son, church was just a weekly ritual. Even though I believed, I just didn’t feel prayer or a relationship with God was necessary. I was… Read More






