Motherhood was something I always desired. I was blessed with my first child before receiving the devastating news that it would be hard to conceive again. I lost my faith in this moment of heartbreak.
I grew up in a Christian home. I was always the one to stand up for those who couldn’t. God was calling me to help children with disabilities. However, I was rebellious, and therefore, when I was told I wouldn’t have any more children, I turned away from God.
Years passed, and I matured. God shared with me to go back to church. I needed to raise my son in church. I shouldn’t hinder his walk with God because I was hurt. We found a church and attended. Shortly after, I became pregnant.
My second son was born, and we were unaware he’d be born with a condition called fibular hemimelia; he was missing a foot. He would need surgery and a prosthetic.
As we went along with this journey, something was not sitting right. I recognized the signs of my brother’s autism. My son was later diagnosed with nonverbal autism.
It broke my husband. Not expecting this, we struggled to cope. It caused our family a lot of anguish and strife; fighting became normal.
The shift came when I cried out to God, “I can’t do this anymore”. Once again, God was guiding me to go to church. We went. However, we were cast out twice, told my son was a distraction to the congregation.
Devastated doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. I tried to listen to God. I saw Him shifting our family dynamic for the better. In my last effort, I reached out to a pastor at another church. I explained our situation, and he welcomed us.
God saved our family in this church and brought us back to Him. Our family has fewer arguments. We have more moments of togetherness. God has placed it on us to share.
We are building a way to educate other churches and share our experience. The calling I mentioned earlier? It is alive, and I will always advocate for those who are unable. Our son surprised us, but his hardship brought my family closer and restored our faith.
I am forever grateful to God for him.
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