I grew up in a household where my father worked hard to provide for our household because he grew up with that value of being financially stable. My father would come home tired from work, so I have just a handful of memories when my father interacted with me.
When I was 11, my parents told me and my siblings that they were separating, and my dad wouldn’t be around anymore. I remember going up to my room, crying and praying that God would fix this. God never brought my parents back together, but my dad still tried to connect with us the only way he knew how: by providing. My father bounced around jobs in different states, making a six-figure salary per year, but over the years, my father struggled with depression and alcohol. And the financial stability started to crumble.
When my father moved back near us, we spent more time together, and I learned the main reason for the divorce was over the thing he had focused so hard on providing: money. Before the divorce, my mother would stay home, while my father worked. This helped me create a strong relationship with my mother, but one where my father wasn’t around to be the home’s spiritual pillar. My mother tried to fill that void the best she could, but it still lacked my father.
Today, the relationship with my father is still one where I don’t see much of him, but since I had my own child four months ago, I have begun to see more of the love God has for me, my son, and my father. Every day, I strive to provide for my family, but more importantly, spiritually guide my household and love my child unconditionally. I have also learned that even though my relationship with my father has been rocky, I am still blessed to have a father in my life.
In the end, I know that I have a Father in heaven who loves me more than I could ever imagine.
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