OVERCOMING ADDICTION

My childhood was rough, and from the time I was 17, I started a destructive path of smoking, doing drugs, and drinking alcohol. This pattern continued for many years. Honestly, I feel as though I have always been self-destructive. No amount of self-medicating could control my feelings or my mental health issues.

I refused to seek medical help because I didn’t believe it would work. Many times, I hit what I assumed was rock-bottom, only to go through it again and again. One day, I had a complete mental breakdown at work. They sent me to an out-patient rehab that lasted 12 weeks, but the effects were short-lived.

Whenever there was a setback, I would be angry and blame God and wonder why I was still here.

Eventually, I sought more help because my addictions to medications for sleeping, anxiety, and mood stabilizers was out of control. I was abusing them to the point where I was so high that I fell asleep in my car, in front of a store, while the vehicle was still running. Luckily, my cousin happened to come by and found me. She woke me up by beeping her horn and asked me what I was doing. I said I really had no idea.

After that, my mom took my keys away, and I began therapy. There was so much I needed to talk about with someone who would not judge me.

During this time, my aunt sent me a book about God, and I quickly read it. She then sent me the Good News Bible and began sending me scriptures by text daily. I began to feel an overwhelming urge to open my Bible and read it. Sometimes I tried to ignore the feeling but eventually, I surrendered. I have not stopped reading my Bible since, and for the first time in my life, I feel at peace.

On December 28, 2023 I was baptized and began attending church.

I realize I can either be addicted to drugs and alcohol, or I can choose God. I can now see that God was always with me during my addictions and struggles. Without Him, I probably would not be alive. I used to fear death but now I now have hope in Jesus.