“If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness.”
Whether or not these words were found carved into the wall of a Nazi death camp, it is certainly how I felt trudging through the jungles of Vietnam in 1966.
“Why would God permit such mayhem and horror?” I was told that God was good and loving, but I found no love or goodness in the rot of war.
While I remained culturally tied to Christianity after returning to the United States, I was, for all intents and purposes, an atheist. My job as a police officer only reassured me of my convictions, as goodness and love were once again alien to my surroundings.
As my resentments grew, my relationship faltered. To boot, I had a heart attack at the young age of 31!
Utterly alone, worried, and depressed, I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a voice say, “You are not alone, I am with you!”
To say these words changed my life would be a massive understatement. They led me to the scriptures, “life’s instruction manual,” as I like to call it. I learned that it was not God who needed my forgiveness, but I who needed God’s. As I confessed my sins, I discovered not only a forgiving God, but one who is not indifferent to the plight of human suffering.
God himself, through the person of Jesus Christ, suffered for all humanity, giving us hope to find peace, not necessarily from hardship, but in hardship.
Soon after my encounter with God, I met the woman who would become my wife of 30+ years and counting. I shared with her “life’s instruction manual,” and together we seek its wisdom when challenges surface.
The same God who upheld me with His righteous right hand is ready to uphold you too!
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
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