“I don’t think I believe in God anymore and I no longer want to be married.” What happens when the life you’ve built turns to complete dust?
These are the devastating words I heard from my high school sweetheart and husband. He had been wrestling with his faith and had finally told me. Even though we were in ministry, he had been on his own quiet journey through addiction, doubts, and deconstruction. It is normal to wrestle with faith and fight to find truth, but his journey took him down a path that nearly destroyed us.
After our painful divorce, he continued in this painful, isolating direction for quite some time while I slowly rebuilt my life with the support of my family. After such a deep hurt, I was so confused and frustrated. I had never thought that he would question his faith or question our marriage. But as I was on my own, I tried to pursue God while trying to heal and make sense of all I had been through.
In time, the Lord graciously got a hold of my husband’s heart and he experienced a true-life transformation, only to realize he had made a huge mistake when he left our marriage. He began to reach out to me. After some time, we took a long walk and talked. For several months, we met with a counselor separately and then together.
But, honestly, there was nothing left, there was really no hope. But out of the dust, acting only as God can, He breathed life back into our story. Through God’s kindness, wise counsel, and time, God reconnected us and brought reconciliation. We even remarried!
Through these hard-earned lessons, God has called us to minister to others wrestling with their faith and in their marriages. We come alongside them when they think their circumstances are beyond repair. Together, my husband and I are “Out of the Dust,” a band where we write songs about the loss and redemption in our story.
We write and talk about how to trust God when those we love wrestle with doubts and deconstruction, healing a marriage after brokenness, and the importance of community in whatever pain we face.
We travel to tell our story to offer hope to those who are hurting or walking through deconstruction. We know that not all marriages will be reconciled like ours. But we serve a God of redemption and reconciliation. In the end, your story and pain may not look like ours. But He is the God who put our hearts back together, and He can and will do the same for you.
Daniel AlexanderJanuary 14, 2023 at 1:18 pm
I cannot even imagine how painful that process must have been, refining fire. It is a powerful testimony to the enduring nature and scope of God’s love that this couple found redemption.
David OloriJanuary 24, 2023 at 7:25 pm
What a wonderful narration of God’s work in life of His children. This tells me of how God can bring back our lives to normalcy should wander away from His path.
Thank you very much for sharing this encouraging experience.