Growing up in a physically and mentally abusive home, I often asked myself, "What's wrong with me? Why was I born? How can I be better?" These questions lingered into adulthood. From a young age, I recognized that my mama was hurting from the abuse she endured. At nine, I learned that the man I thought was my father was actually my adoptive dad. I craved acceptance and sought love in all the wrong places, but I didn’t know how to love myself. At 21, I married the man I thought I would be with forever, hoping for a "normal" life and the family I dreamed of. Thankfully, I was blessed with two amazing children—Jase and Jayden. They became my saving grace. However, my relationship with their father was manipulative, and we divorced before Jase turned one. I then entered another relationship, hoping it would bring happiness, but it only led to more pain. I was the problem because I didn’t know who I was or how to love myself. This spiraled into self-medication and a destructive path. Eventually, my ex-husband and I reconciled, thinking it was where I was meant to be, but I continued to self-medicate and felt constantly inadequate. I thought having another child would heal everything, but I failed to realize how selfish it was to bring another life into that chaos. After two rehab stints, I reached a breaking point, holding a gun and contemplating ending it all. Then, I heard my children’s voices calling, “Mama!” In that moment, God snapped me back to reality and reminded me I… Read More
