A STROKE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE

On April 26, 2018, my wife had a life-threatening stroke. She was on bone-density pills which led to a blood vessel bursting in her brain.

Prior to the stroke, she knew something was wrong with her health and felt I was poisoning her. I was not a perfect husband by any means, but I couldn’t understand why she thought this, and I felt our marriage was over at this point. In hindsight, the swollen vessel was causing her mental issues.

What do you do when your spouse thinks you want them dead? She even had a blood test confirming there was no poison. Still, this did not convince her.

That weekend was my birthday and I had to go to Jacksonville for my work. This rarely happened, and I asked her if she would go with me so we could spend time together and try to work on our marriage. This was the woman I still wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and we were close to divorcing. She didn’t want to go, but changed her mind at the last minute.

Late that evening, we went to dinner. The next morning, she said she wasn’t feeling well. At first, we thought maybe she had food poisoning but when she was not able to get up and her bowel let loose, I called for an ambulance. They initially agreed it might be food poisoning but when she went unconscious, we knew it was serious.

Because we were in Jacksonville, we were only 15 minutes from the Mayo Clinic. This is why I believe it was a God thing–she was exactly where she needed to be to get the best help. Doctors explained if she had been anywhere else, or any farther away, she would have surely died. Over 50% of people with this type of stroke do not make it. I realized then that if she had stayed home, she would not have made it.

She was in a coma for over 50 days. Her brain had about a half-dollar-sized damage in the PICA medulla area. Each day, I would talk to her and pray for her, and I would see her finger move just a little. Her doctor was amazing and fought for her to stay in the clinic for as long as possible. He was the only doctor who believed that she might come out of her coma.

One thing that got me through this time was going to the hospital chapel where I could quietly pray. I could always feel the presence of God in my life, and I prayed to Him every day. There was a church nearby, and one of the volunteers would come by my room a couple of times  each week to talk and pray with me. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer and your church.

Eventually, we were sent to a long-term acute care facility, rehab, and even hospice.  It was recommended to take her off life-support but that felt like murder to me. Here I was having to decide if she would live or die, knowing she already thought I was trying to kill her. It was destroying me inside. I couldn’t do it. I wanted her to have every chance to live.

God brought the right people to help us. Each person had a key piece of information and yet no one person had the whole solution. Through this, I learned to pray for wisdom in discerning who could help us. Before, I had been a military man who was taught not to show emotions , but this experience made me more compassionate.

I believe the Lord filled me with compassion and made me a whole new person. It became my goal to be a blessing to others as so many people were a blessing to us.

Today, my wife is doing better and we have been married for 40 years. Without God, we wouldn’t be where we are today.