GLORIFYING GOD IN DIFFICULT TIMES

The story of Job resonates with me. He was put through some very difficult and gut-wrenching trials. But Job’s faith saw him through those times.

I feel like I’m in a somewhat similar situation right now.

I’m going through an excruciating cancer battle which has me wondering how long I may have on earth. And a number of family members are going through very hard struggles.

I have three children. My oldest daughter has Huntington’s Disease which affects her nervous system; I’m seeing her life being taken away from her, and watching my granddaughter lose her mom. I promised my daughter that I would be there for her and would take care of her, but that has since changed with my cancer, and my parents have had to step in to help her. My teenage son has autism and sensory needs. He is sensitive to crowds and loud noises, so I’ve homeschooled him since the third grade. The only completely healthy child is my middle daughter—she’s married to her childhood sweetheart, and has dedicated her life to working with children with autism.

In the past three months, my dad has undergone heart surgery twice: once unexpectedly to remove two blockages and the other time for a valve replacement. My sister recently found out she will have to undergo her second brain surgery to remove a non-cancerous tumor that has continued to grow for the past seven years.

But these trials have made my faith in the Lord so much stronger. The more bad news I get, the closer I get to God.

I was saved when I was young. I’ve always prayed, believed and trusted God. But there is a big difference between believing and completely submitting. And now, I totally submit my life to the Lord.

My health problems began in 2022, but took a nose dive in January, 2023 when I had to go in for a hysterectomy for what my doctors thought were some fibroid tumors. But what they found was an aggressive, rare cancer called Leiomyosarcoma. My tumor was the size of an orange.

Within four weeks of my hysterectomy, the cancer was back and had metastasized. I had an extensive six-hour surgery to remove the cancer to try to prevent it from spreading any further. But the following month, CT scans confirmed that cancer had yet again returned and had also spread into my lungs. I have undergone some of the strongest chemotherapy treatments since June of 2023.

I went out of town for a follow-up oncology appointment early last month. I was in a hotel room the night before, in a lot of pain and I was praying. It was then that I felt God’s presence. He was telling me I was going to get bad news tomorrow, but everything would be okay. I woke up with an incredible peace. And sure enough, they found a new tumor on my abdomen wall. In addition, the doctor said he was now very concerned about my lungs. I asked if there was any hope. He asked me to define hope, and suggested I start making arrangements for my son.

So I’m now on a pump and a new 24-hour chemo regimen every three weeks. The hope is that it will buy me some time. I’m hoping and praying that this new chemo will work and be well-tolerated.

This is all so overwhelming. There is absolutely no way I could handle any of this without my Heavenly Father. My faith and my love for Jesus Christ has grown beyond measure in the midst of all these trials.

In fact, my perspective on life totally changed when I got this diagnosis. I started digging deeper into God’s word. I started praying more and listening to several sermons each day, and digging deeper into every word in my Bible. And it’s all made such a difference in how I view life and how I see this world. How small all this is compared to our eternity in heaven.

I have forgiven and prayed for people that have hurt me deeply. Their salvation is so much more important to me than any hurt or anger because my feelings are temporary and their salvation is for eternity!

You see, God had to break me from my own will, much like puppies are broken from being the leader of their pack. They’re placed temporarily on their back, so they can only see their human. In the same way, God had to put me on my back to show me that I am not the leader of my life. In fact, I don’t really have any control over my future. He made sure that I could only see Him. It is His will over mine, and it is so much better.

This perspective has helped me release so much pain—pain from my cancer, my daughter’s illness and my son’s situation.

Nothing can happen to me that’s not filtered through the Lord. God has a purpose in everything and it’s to glorify Him. My struggles must also be for God’s purpose.

I keep saying, “Lord, please use me; let me glorify you for as long as you allow me to live.” If it costs me my life to glorify Him, then that’s okay. That’s how much I love Him.

All this reminds me of a bird that is soaring: the bird is not afraid of falling; it’s not weighed down; the bird just soars freely. That is what it’s like to have total faith. When you fly into a storm, that’s when God is the closest to you.

I want to serve Him. I want to live longer so I can serve Him. I’m willing to go anywhere and do anything He wants me to do.

Those close to me ask me how this has changed me. I have learned to live each day for God and not for my own desires. To let God be in control and trust that whatever storms come my way will be for His purpose. To find a way to glorify Him, even in the worst of circumstances.

To survive in life, you have to learn to trust in God’s wisdom and not our human understanding. We are filled with faith when our human spirit is connected to the Holy Spirit, and we let God become our focus.